Funny Away Messages:

If life gives you lemons, throw them at some one!

He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

A conclusion is simply the place where you get tired of thinking.

There are three kinds of people in the world; ones that can count and ones that can't count. Which of the three are you?

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

Exercising my taste buds.

I'm not here right now and I regret to say that due to unforeseen circumstances, later has been cancelled.

Knock knock
Whose there?
No-one who?
No seriously, no one is here so leave me a message.

Some people call it a learning curve, I call it going in circles. Attempting to study...

Don't you hate it when people leave away messages that don't tell where they are or when they'll be back?

The statement below is True. The statement above is False. Which statement is correct?

How do you keep an idiot in suspense? Leave a message and I'll get back to you...

I hate short away messages.

Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level then beat you with experience.

Nature is calling and I'm answering!

Student Caught Reading Away Message, Feels Stupid.

4 out of 5 people have trouble with fractions! brb in 1-4/3 of a second.

Bed, bed, and beyond.

Roses are red, violets are blue, most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't. I suck at poetry, and creative away messages, so leave me one if it's important.

If I'm not back in 15 minutes, avenge my death.

I have a secret to tell you... I'm away from my computer right now.

Support bacteria - it's the only culture some people have!

Only fools leave away messages.

Studying. Notice how they conveniently put "DYING" at the end of this word.

Have you ever noticed anyone going slower than you is an idiot and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

It is better to keep your mouth shut and look stupid than to open it and remove all doubt.

I heard my stomach growling and I got scared so I'm giving it what it wants.

Hello, welcome to my away message, how may I ignore you today?

I am stranded on toilet island.

In the mouth and through the gums, watch out tummy here it comes.

91.3% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

I'm asleep right now, but as soon as class ends I'll get back to you.

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach him to use the Internet and he won't bother you for weeks.